Talking to Your Child About Death - What the New School Curriculum Means for Your Family
For Parents, Carers & Families | September 2026 RSHE Changes Explained
Finding the words to explain death to your child is hard, uncomfortable and full of emotion. We want to protect our children from pain and fear, from the weight of something so final and so enormous. So, often, we say nothing or we reach for euphemisms that leave children more confused than comforted; "She passed away." "He's gone to sleep." "We lost her."
But the research tells us that children are not protected by silence. Even very young children are aware of death, curious about it and deeply affected when it touches their lives (Danielson & Colman, 2024). When adults avoid the subject, children do not stop thinking about it, they just stop asking and a child who stops asking, is a child who is carrying their grief alone.
From September 2026, something significant is changing in English primary schools that will help break that silence and it is worth understanding what it means for your family.
What Is Changing in Schools?
In July 2025, the UK Government's Department for Education published new statutory guidance for Relationships, Sex and Health Education (RSHE), the part of the curriculum that covers children's personal, social and emotional development. For the first time ever, grief and bereavement will be a formal, required part of what all schools in England must teach, with full implementation from September 2026 (DfE, 2025).
This is a landmark change. Until now, whether or not children received any education about death and loss depended entirely on the individual school or even the individual teacher. Some schools had thoughtful, compassionate approaches while many had nothing at all. The new guidance levels the playing field and sends a clear message that death is normal and the feelings we experience when we’re bereaved, are a normal part of life and children deserve to be prepared for it.
The new curriculum will cover four key areas:
Different ways of grieving - helping children understand that there is no single "right" way to feel when someone dies
Supporting the bereaved - teaching children how to be kind and present for a friend who is grieving
Accessing support - making sure children know where to turn when they are struggling
Cultural variations - exploring how different families and traditions mark death and remember those they have loved
These lessons are designed to give children a language for experiences they will inevitably encounter whether that is the death of a grandparent, a pet, a sibling or a parent/carer.
Why This Matters
An estimated 26,900 parents die each year in the UK, leaving behind dependent children, that is one parent every 20 minutes (Child Bereavement UK, 2026). When you include grandparents, siblings, friends and beloved pets, the reality is that most children will experience significant bereavement before they leave primary school.
Research consistently shows that children who receive age-appropriate education about death and grief before they are personally bereaved cope better when loss does occur (Riera-Negre et al., 2024). They have the vocabulary and the emotional framework. They know that what they are feeling is normal and they know it is safe to talk about it.
Conversely, children who are not given this foundation often struggle in silence. They may not recognise their own grief responses. They may feel frightened or ashamed of their emotions. They may not know how to ask for help or even that help is available.
The new RSHE curriculum is not about making death a bigger presence in your child's life. It is about making grief a smaller burden.
What This Means for You as a Parent
However, the most powerful grief education does not happen in a classroom. It happens at home, in the small, everyday moments when your child asks a question about death and you answer it honestly, gently and without panic.
Research shows that when schools and families work together on this topic, children feel significantly more supported (Costelloe, Mintz & Lee, 2020). Your child's school is now being asked to open these conversations in the classroom but you can open them at home too and one of the most natural, least frightening ways to do that is through a story.
A Book That Makes This Conversation Possible
For children developmentally aged between 3 and 8, I wrote Squirrel's Search for Love, a book about loss, love and grief beautifully illustrated by play therapist Fiona Holiday. Having worked for decades helping the services who support children and adults navigate trauma, adversity and loss, I received a life-limiting cancer diagnosis. I wrote this book for my new granddaughter, wanting to leave behind something that was dynamically healing and trauma sensitive. I wanted her to know, in the most gentle and beautiful way, that love does not disappear when someone dies.
The story follows a young squirrel who, after losing someone dear, sets out on a journey through the natural world to find where love goes. It is a question that sits at the heart of every child's grief and indeed, every adult's. As Squirrel explores the world around them, the land, the sea and the sky, the book weaves the tender answer that love lives on in memory. It can found in nature, in the enduring bonds between those who have loved each other.
The illustrations are warm, gentle and rich using natural imagery that speaks to children across all backgrounds and cultures. There are no frightening images, no clinical language and no overwhelming concepts. Just a small squirrel, a big question and a beautiful, hopeful answer.
Why This Book Is Perfect for the New Curriculum and for Your Home
Squirrel's Search for Love addresses every one of the four areas of the new RSHE guidance in a way that feels natural and child-led:
Different ways of grieving - Squirrel's journey is not straightforward. Some encounters bring comfort while others bring more questions. This mirrors the reality that grief is not a single feeling but is rather a process and everyone moves through it differently.
Supporting the bereaved - Reading the book together gives provides an opportunity for children to develop a shared emotional vocabulary. They learn what it might feel like to lose someone and that opens the door to conversations about how we care for others who are hurting.
Accessing support - The central message in the book, in shared reading and shared conversations is that we do not have to carry grief alone, that love and connection endure. This creates a foundation to understand that support is always available.
Cultural variations - The natural world imagery is universal. Families of all backgrounds and beliefs can find meaning in Squirrel's journey and it creates a neutral, inclusive space to explore your own family's traditions and beliefs around death.
Research on bibliotherapy, the use of books for emotional support, confirms that shared reading creates emotional validation, reduces children's sense of isolation in grief and provides language for feelings that can otherwise feel unspeakable (Thomas-Adams, 2015). When you read this book with your child, you are not just sharing a story. You are showing them that grief is something we face together, not alone.
Starting the Conversation at Home
You do not need to wait for a bereavement to read this book. In fact, the research suggests that having these conversations before loss occurs gives children a framework that will serve them when they need it most. Here are some gentle ways to begin:
Read it together at bedtime, without an agenda. Let your child lead the conversation.
Ask open questions: "What do you think Squirrel was feeling? Where do you think love goes?"
Share your own beliefs honestly and simply, in language your child can hold.
Revisit it. Children process at their own pace. A book they return to again and again is doing its work.
Let it be incomplete. You do not need to have all the answers. Sitting with the questions together is enough.
The new RSHE curriculum is a recognition that children's emotional lives matter, that preparing them for the full range of human experience, including loss, is part of what it means to educate a whole child. Squirrel's Search for Love is a companion for that journey.
Grief is not something children should navigate alone…
References
Cherry, L. (2025). Squirrel's Search for Love. Illustrated by F. Holiday. Meadowsweet and Moss Publishing
Child Bereavement UK. (2026). Death & Bereavement Statistics. https://www.childbereavementuk.org/death-bereavement-statistics
Costelloe, A., Mintz, J., & Lee, F. (2020). Bereavement Support Provision in Primary Schools: An Exploratory Study. Educational Psychology in Practice, 36(3), 261–274.
Danielson, K., & Colman, H. (2024). Supporting children through grief: A content analysis of picture books about death. Early Childhood Education Journal, 52, 1413–1422.
Department for Education. (2025). Relationships, Sex and Health Education (RSHE): Statutory guidance. HM Government.
Riera-Negre, L., et al. (2024). Exploring support strategies and training needs for teachers in navigating illness, bereavement, and death-related challenges in the classroom. Frontiers in Education, 9, 1328247.
Thomas-Adams, H. (2015). Child life specialists' use of bibliotherapy with grieving children (Master's thesis). Mills College.
